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I found you a donor for an attitude transplant.

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More Health and Weight Loss Cartoons

It's good that you're eating more fresh fruit and vegetables, but be careful to chew more thoroughly. Cucumber slices instead of pepperoni, vinegar instead of cheese, lettuce instead of crust-- it's diet pizza! You know you're getting too much fat in your diet when your freckles are made of pepperoni! I lick my paws because they're fat-free, sugar-free and calorie-free! I lost 198 pounds on the Helium Diet!
For lunch I tried the Cheeseburger And Fries Diet, but that didn't work. So for dinner, I'm going to try the Lasagna and Cheesecake Diet. If you're going to use a smartphone, I recommend a Blackberry. Blackberries are rich in vitamins and antioxidants. Our Heart-Smart Pizza is tomato sauce, pepperoni, sausage, meatballs, and mozzarella cheese served on two defibrillator paddles. Gravity has lowered my chest, my stomach, and my butt! Why hasn't it lowered my cholesterol? How come you need $150 walking shoes, but I have to do 2 miles in bare feet?!
It's easy to tell the difference between good cholesterol and bad cholesterol. Bad cholesterol has an evil laugh. I can get by on just 2 hours of sleep every day, as long as I nap for 14 hours.

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