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I can't change my height. I can't change my eye color. I can't change the size of my feet. What makes you think I can change my weight?

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More Health and Weight Loss Cartoons

Go home and let your dog lick your face. Dog saliva is the most effective antidepressant you can get without a prescription. Tobacco is a green, leafy plant… but a cigarette does not count as a salad! Why does it take 6 weeks to lose 5 pounds, but only 1 day to gain it all back? This treadmill is so high-tech, you burn 100 calories just selecting your workout program!
Don't slice the pizza. My diet says I'm only allowed to eat one piece! You have a rare condition called 'good health'. Frankly, I'm not sure how to treat it. Our diet special is a fresh garden salad served in burger, shake and fry containers. If you'd like a healthy alternative, we can wrap your cheeseburger, fries and fruit pie in a low-fat tortilla.
The reason for my weight gain is obvious-- humans are evolving into a larger species! I know dieting can be stressful, but try gnawing on a carrot instead of my nerves! I'm on the Green Eggs and Ham Diet. I'm only allowed to eat foods that rhyme. If pizza is hot enough to burn the roof of your mouth, why isn't it hot enough to melt belly fat?

More Cartoons: (364 total)
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