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Great excuses for cheating on your diet $1.00

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If you'd like a healthy alternative, we can wrap your cheeseburger, fries and fruit pie in a low-fat tortilla. The reason for my weight gain is obvious-- humans are evolving into a larger species! I know dieting can be stressful, but try gnawing on a carrot instead of my nerves! I'm on the Green Eggs and Ham Diet. I'm only allowed to eat foods that rhyme.
If pizza is hot enough to burn the roof of your mouth, why isn't it hot enough to melt belly fat? If walking makes your legs thinner and sit-ups make your waist thinner, how come chewing doesn't make my face thinner? Tell me more about the Acupuncture Diet. Does it really work? What's wrong with eating donuts to cure obesity? Don't you believe in alternative medicine?
Spend more time outside with your dog. Teach him how to throw a stick for you to chase. Does it hurt to chew? Only when my mom makes me eat broccoli, liver or tofu! What's wrong, Lassie? Is Timmy's cholesterol in trouble? Did your doctor say 'eat more fish' or 'eat fish more often'?

More Cartoons: (364 total)
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