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My friend Molly lost 6 pounds eating nothing but rawhide, tennis balls, and squeaky rubber pork chops!

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My doctor is sitting two rows behind me! Do you sell chocolate-covered fish oil capsules? My doctor told me to exercise. It gave me more energy and I got more work done. The more work I did, the more mistakes I made. Then I got fired. That's why I'm suing my doctor. I'm writing you a prescription for a daily dose of SparkPeople You can enjoy diabetes, high cholesterol and hypertension or you can suffer from good health. If I gain 20 pounds, it will give me the motivation I need to stick to my diet!
Cholesterol in my veins is a good thing-- it leaves less room for germs and viruses! I had fun, fun, fun till my doctor took the T-bone awaaaaaaaay! How come you need $150 walking shoes, but I have to do 2 miles in bare feet?! The government sent us a check. We've failed so many diets, our kitchen qualifies as a disaster area! If swimming is so good for you, how come I've never had a goldfish live longer than three weeks?
I was going to get up early to go running, but my toes voted against me 10 to 1. It's the latest advancement in cardiac pacemakers. It gives you an electric shock when it detects pizza or doughnuts in your bloodstream.

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