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I've been watching the Food Channel all day and I haven't seen one good recipe for socks!

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Warning: The following program contains 17 minutes of food commercials. Dieters are strongly advised to turn off their TV and go for a walk. The 4 Food Groups are stuff I can't eat because of my heart, stuff I can't eat because of my diabetes, stuff I can't eat because of my gout, and stuff I can't eat because of my acid reflux. Salad isn't covered by my HMO. You have a heart of gold, a liver of gold, a stomach of gold and kidneys of gold. Stop eating so many Cheez Doodles. Stop smoking, quit drinking, eat less, exercise more! Are you some kind of health nut?
I hate to complain about my diet, but whining burns a lot of calories! It's OK to devour your competitors and gobble up smaller companies, but remember to have a few veggies, too! My personal trainer said Yoga would give me longer, sexier muscles, but it didn't work for me. Running is bad for my knees. Not running is bad for everything else! Access requires a password, retina scan, fingerprint analysys and a DNA sample. It's the best refrigerator I've ever owned!
I toss and turn all night and you won't count that as an eight-hour aerobic workout? The doctor told my husband to double his daily exercise, so now he changes channels with both hands!

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