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You know you are a SparkPeople member when you check your SparkMail more than you check yo ur email.

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My doctor told me to exercise. It gave me more energy and I got more work done. The more work I did, the more mistakes I made. Then I got fired. That's why I'm suing my doctor. I'm writing you a prescription for a daily dose of SparkPeople You can enjoy diabetes, high cholesterol and hypertension or you can suffer from good health. If I gain 20 pounds, it will give me the motivation I need to stick to my diet! Cholesterol in my veins is a good thing-- it leaves less room for germs and viruses!
I had fun, fun, fun till my doctor took the T-bone awaaaaaaaay! How come you need $150 walking shoes, but I have to do 2 miles in bare feet?! The government sent us a check. We've failed so many diets, our kitchen qualifies as a disaster area! If swimming is so good for you, how come I've never had a goldfish live longer than three weeks? It's the latest advancement in cardiac pacemakers. It gives you an electric shock when it detects pizza or doughnuts in your bloodstream.
You need to improve your diet. Instead of dandruff, you've got ice cream sprinkles! I've always been a high achiever, always striving for bigger, faster, greater… and now suddenly I'm expected to settle for lower blood pressure and less cholesterol?

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