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SparkPeople Funnies

For years your teachers kept telling you to settle down and sit still. You can stop now.

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More Health and Weight Loss Cartoons

I joined a weight-loss support group. We meet once a week and talk each other out of dieting. I'm on the Pasta Diet. I walk pasta donut shop without stopping, I walk pasta pizza place without stopping… Actually, I wouldn't mind if someone stole 25 pounds of my identity. Cellulite doesn't pay rent to live on my thighs, so I'm getting a court order to have mine evicted!
The handle on your recliner does not count as an exercise machine. Yes, I won the SparkTrophy. But I have yet to RECEIVE my trophy! You know you are a SparkPeople member when you drink 9 cups of water a day just to see the water cup overflow. Your blood sugar is high, but your salt, pepper, ketchup, mustard and grated cheese levels are fine.
My doctor says I'm a Type 8 diabetic… that's a Type 2 with four times more excuses for not exercising. My lawyer is helping me lose weight. My stomach is suing my mouth. Why am I so happy? I won a bonus spin on the SparkPoints wheel this morning! I try to eat healthy. I never sprinkle salt on ice cream, I only eat decaffeinated pizza and my beer is 100% fat-free.

More Cartoons: (364 total)
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