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Care for some freshly-ground fiber on your cheese fries?

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More Health and Weight Loss Cartoons

I don't want to download a song or a movie or a TV show or a book-- I want to download something for dinner! I lost 60 pounds on the Swiss Cheese Diet! My diet doctor says: It's not what you're eating, it's what's eating you! Well, if something is eating me, how come I'm not getting smaller? Your blood sugar is too high.
If your gym membership is $37.50 per month, that means you're paying $262.50 per workout! If I don't go to the doctor, he can't find anything wrong with me. That's how I stay healthy! I have one pill that blocks fat, one pill that blocks carbs, and one pill that blocks the kitchen door. What happens when breakfast finds out it's the most important meal of the day.
Every time I go on a diet, I lose my mind. Unfortunately, it doesn't weigh very much! I learned about stress management from my kids. Every night after work, I drink as much chocolate milk as my stomach will hold, eat handfuls of sugary cereal straight from the box, then run around the house in my underwear squealing like a monkey. I did a 30-0minute workout today: 15 minutes looking for my sneakers, 10 minutes looking for my sweat pants and 5 minutes on the treadmill. Snow White was poisoned by an apple, Jack found a giant in his beanstalk, and look what happened to Alice when she ate the mushroom! And you wonder why I won't eat fruit and vegetables?!

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