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You need to incorporate some stretching into your fitness routine, so I glued all of your snacks to the ceiling!

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Cholesterol in my veins is a good thing-- it leaves less room for germs and viruses! I had fun, fun, fun till my doctor took the T-bone awaaaaaaaay! The government sent us a check. We've failed so many diets, our kitchen qualifies as a disaster area! If swimming is so good for you, how come I've never had a goldfish live longer than three weeks? It's the latest advancement in cardiac pacemakers. It gives you an electric shock when it detects pizza or doughnuts in your bloodstream.
You need to improve your diet. Instead of dandruff, you've got ice cream sprinkles! I've always been a high achiever, always striving for bigger, faster, greater… and now suddenly I'm expected to settle for lower blood pressure and less cholesterol? Which 'sensible diet' do you want me to follow? I found 123,942 of them on the internet! Someday, son, you'll be old enough to do anything you like. But by then you'll be too tired to like anything. Our Quick Start gym membership comes with a free set of press-on abs!
I want to turn my body into a powerful fat-burning furnace! Thank you for calling The Yoga Studio. To learn more about the benefits of yoga, press 1 with your pinkie toe and hold it for 20 minutes.

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