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You know you're getting too much fat in your diet when your freckles are made of pepperoni!

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LDL stands for Lousy Darn Lipos and HDL stands for Hunky Dory Lipos. You're in perfect health. Wait here while I check what you should take for that. Welcome to the Weight Loss Forum. To lose one pound, double-click your mouse six million times. You haven't been taking your cholesterol medication, have you Mr. Grosshart? I started bicycling to help me get in shape, but swallowing all those bugs made me gain weight!
I don't understand how I got so fat! Doesn't tail wagging count as cardio? If you are what you eat, I'd rather be thin like a French fry than round like a head of lettuce! I joined a weight-loss support group. We meet once a week and talk each other out of dieting. I'm on the Pasta Diet. I walk pasta donut shop without stopping, I walk pasta pizza place without stopping… Cellulite doesn't pay rent to live on my thighs, so I'm getting a court order to have mine evicted!
The handle on your recliner does not count as an exercise machine. Yes, I won the SparkTrophy. But I have yet to RECEIVE my trophy!

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