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I've been watching the Food Channel all day and I haven't seen one good recipe for socks!

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The only diet shake I recommend is the shake your booty makes when you exercise. Of course your arteries are clear. For 25 years, I've been adding a drop of drain cleaner to your morning coffee. A vegetarian diet is good for stress. If you crunch loud enough, you can't hear your kids bicker during dinner. LDL stands for Lousy Darn Lipos and HDL stands for Hunky Dory Lipos. Welcome to the Weight Loss Forum. To lose one pound, double-click your mouse six million times.
I started bicycling to help me get in shape, but swallowing all those bugs made me gain weight! I don't understand how I got so fat! Doesn't tail wagging count as cardio? If you are what you eat, I'd rather be thin like a French fry than round like a head of lettuce! I'm on the Pasta Diet. I walk pasta donut shop without stopping, I walk pasta pizza place without stopping… Cellulite doesn't pay rent to live on my thighs, so I'm getting a court order to have mine evicted!
The handle on your recliner does not count as an exercise machine. Yes, I won the SparkTrophy. But I have yet to RECEIVE my trophy!

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