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It's good that you're eating more fresh fruit and vegetables, but be careful to chew more thoroughly.

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I printed your diet with a large font to make the portions look bigger. I recommend yo-yo dieting. Lower a yo-yo into your food, eat whatever sticks to the yo-yo. Something to make the world look sane again-- is there an app for that? Be careful-- sometimes it's a green lollipop and sometimes it's a brussels sprout! Tomatoes, corn syrup, vinegar, water, salt. See, there are no cats in catsup!
Our diet spaghetti is exactly the same as our regular spaghetti, except you plant, cultivate, harvest and grind your own wheat. How many times should I push the elevator button to equal the same calories as taking the stairs? Less flying… more walking. If I follow 5 different diets at the same time, one of them is bound to work! Licking your paws is just the first step. After that, you need to use a good antibacterial body wash, then an exfoliating herbal facial scrub, followed by avocado moisturizing cleanser…
The 4 basic food groups are stuff that will make me fat, stuff that will make me sick, stuff that will kill me, and stuff that I'll eat anyway. That's why you've never seen an overweight mime. They pretend to eat pizza, they pretend to eat candy, they pretend to eat ice cream…

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