SparkPeople Funnies

Dinosaurs didn't smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol, or eat junk food… and where are they now!?

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More Health and Weight Loss Cartoons

How many times should I push the elevator button to equal the same calories as taking the stairs? Less flying… more walking. If I follow 5 different diets at the same time, one of them is bound to work! Licking your paws is just the first step. After that, you need to use a good antibacterial body wash, then an exfoliating herbal facial scrub, followed by avocado moisturizing cleanser… The 4 basic food groups are stuff that will make me fat, stuff that will make me sick, stuff that will kill me, and stuff that I'll eat anyway.
That's why you've never seen an overweight mime. They pretend to eat pizza, they pretend to eat candy, they pretend to eat ice cream… I'm incognito. I lost 20 pounds, and I don't want it to find me again! I'm eating twice as many vegetables as I used to!... Two times nothing is still nothing! I'm the Workout Fairy. I'm here to tighten your abs! I try to eat at least 100 grams of fat per meal. I'm building up my immunity to cholesterol.
Someplace hot enough to melt fat the moment I step on to the beach! If dieting and exercise make us hungry, then the key to weight loss is eating and napping!

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