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We have an excellent employee health plan: we built our parking garage 2 miles away from the office!

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It's the latest advancement in cardiac pacemakers. It gives you an electric shock when it detects pizza or doughnuts in your bloodstream. If I'm digging my grave with a fork and spoon, wouldn't that burn a lot of calories? You know you are a SparkPeople member when you check your SparkMail more than you check yo ur email. I've been taking this medication for 50 years and I'm going to sue! The side effects made me wrinkled, fat and bald!
I can't change my height. I can't change my eye color. I can't change the size of my feet. What makes you think I can change my weight? Instead of jogging, can you just set my pacemaker to beat faster for 30 minutes a day while I watch TV? They should make a Skinny Channel where commercials for lettuce are just as tempting as junk food ads! Maybe you wouldn't feel so tired if you stopped thinking of this as 'cardio'.
I bought some running shoes, but all they want to do is watch TV. I want you to eat more carrots, potato chips, and crackers. Loud crunching scares away germs. My doctor told me to eat 5 fruits and vegetables every day. Today I had 3 raisins and 2 peas. Our diet lasagna is a hologram

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