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SparkPeople Funnies

For years your teachers kept telling you to settle down and sit still. You can stop now.

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It's good that you're eating more fresh fruit and vegetables, but be careful to chew more thoroughly. The first Food Pyramid was built in ancient Egypt by a Pharoah who hated vegetables so much he buried them at the bottom. It's called 'fast food' because it goes to your hips faster than regular food. Too bad SparkPoints are not based on calories consumed.
Weight lifting can help lower your cholesterol. Load up your fork with veggies and lift it to your mouth. Do 3 sets of 15 reps daily. Every couple needs a song. Ours should be 'You'll Never Walk Alone'." Eat less and exercise more? That's the most ridiculous fad diet I've heard of yet! After all these years, I'm finally comfortable in my own skin. Maybe it's because my skin is a lot bigger than it used to be!
Each serving contains 17 grams of Who Cares, 22 grams of Mind Your Own Business and 54 grams of Shut Up And Let Me Enjoy My Food! Every day for me is an uphill struggle. On the positive side, it's great for my glutes! I do the Beatles Workout. I'm so tired because I carry that weight down the long and winding road 8 days a week! MEMO: In the spirit of diversity, anyone offering food for thought must also provide a vegetarian version, as well as low-carb, low-fat, and Kosher versions.

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