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You need to incorporate some stretching into your fitness routine, so I glued all of your snacks to the ceiling!

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I've been taking this medication for 50 years and I'm going to sue! The side effects made me wrinkled, fat and bald! Instead of jogging, can you just set my pacemaker to beat faster for 30 minutes a day while I watch TV? They should make a Skinny Channel where commercials for lettuce are just as tempting as junk food ads! Maybe you wouldn't feel so tired if you stopped thinking of this as 'cardio'. I bought some running shoes, but all they want to do is watch TV.
I want you to eat more carrots, potato chips, and crackers. Loud crunching scares away germs. My doctor told me to eat 5 fruits and vegetables every day. Today I had 3 raisins and 2 peas. Our diet lasagna is a hologram My blood pressure is 180/90 which mathematically is equal to 2/1 which doesn't seem so high! I found 1837 web sites about 'alternative medicine' but none of them recommend pizza or chocolate for lowering our cholesterol.
I'm taking better care of my heart. I've started using aspirin as one of my pizza toppings. The healthiest part of a donut is the hole. Unfortunately, you have to eat through the rest of the donut to get there!

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