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SparkPeople Funnies

I should go on a diet, but I'm afraid my brain will get thinner and I'll become narrow-minded.

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More Health and Weight Loss Cartoons

Gravity has lowered my chest, my stomach, and my butt! Why hasn't it lowered my cholesterol? My favorite vegetable is pudding. I didn't know it was a vegetable until I saw it on a salad bar. My doctor told me to find an activity I like and do it for at least 30 minutes a day. Watching TV is an activity I like! I'd like a garden salad, some fresh fruit and a slice of tofu carefully arranged to look like a cheeseburger, shake and fries.
I'm having trouble finding a good exercise partner. Tom Selleck, Brat Pitt and George Clooney all have unlisted phone numbers! If only spending time on SparkPeople burned calories! Swimming isn't enough. Our veterinarian says we also have to pump iron three times a week! I love crawling, but like most forms of cardio, it's murder on the knees!
Don't worry about burning the calories-- that's already been done! I'm prescribing a diet patch to repair the leak in your willpower Your thighs are so thin! What's your secret? Yoga? Pilates? Cardio? Liposuction? Eat less, exercise more, and alter your genetic code with the DNA of thin parents.

More Cartoons: (364 total)
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